


Rubber Ducky

by cortchuzska



Series: Dornish wit [3]
Category: A Song of Ice and Fire - George R. R. Martin
Genre: Humor
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-12-10
Updated: 2012-12-10
Packaged: 2017-11-20 20:13:19
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 327
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/589221
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cortchuzska/pseuds/cortchuzska
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Jaime is the undisputed king of the bathtub scene; even Dany bathes a lot, mainly to remind us she is a true dragon and likes it HOT. They meet in a sauna.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Rubber Ducky

Jaime, enters naked and looks about: _Where is the rubber ducky? We had a rubber ducky, back then in Casterly Rock, with Cersei, when we were children..._

Dany: “CLOSE THE DOOR! ARE YOU A WILDLING, OR WHAT? IT'S FREEZING!”

Jaime, flashing his brightest smile: “Sorry, I forgot my manners.” He rakes his hand through his golden curls. “My name is Lannister. Jaime Lannister.”

Dany gazes shyly at him.

Jaime, fluttering his emerald eyes: “You can call me Kingslayer, wench.”

Dany, counting her fingers: “Hi. I'm Daenerys Targaryen, the First of My Name, Queen of Meereen, Queen of the Andals and the Rhoynar and the First Men, Lady of the Seven Kingdoms, Protector of the Realm, Khaleesi of Great Grass Sea. Daenerys Stormborn, Breaker of Shackles is _strictly_ for friends.”

Jaime: _Quite the blunder._ Stumbles on a wooden bucket: _No rubber ducky. What's ducking here? Never heard of rubber dragons, before. Cute!_ dips in his golden hand, curses under his voice, then his left: “SEVEN BUGGERING HELLS! IT'S BLOODY SCALDING!”

Dany: “DON'T YOU TOUCH MY BABIES!”

Jaime: waggles his left hand.

Dany, with a smug smile: “Closest friends call me Daenerys the Unburnt, Mother of Dragons.”

Jaime, looking intently at Dany: S _hort. No teats to speak of. Silver hair, down there: cannot compare to golden. And you presume you are the most beautiful woman in the world? Pretty enough for a child; but Cersei is a world better._

Dany: _Blatantly here to peep at girls. Ever seen one naked before? No doubt about it, my Queensguard shall marry: cannot have them leering at me that way whenever I wear a tokar._

Jaime, looking at himself in a mirror: _Of course Cersei is better; she is just like me._

Dany: turns the heating up to eleven.

Jaime: turns to 'go away inside' mode, thinks of Cersei, and faints.

Dany: _Weakling. What a milksop: never been to a sauna before, I bet. Daddy avenged!_ Goes play with her dragons.

**Author's Note:**

> What is it with him and bathtubs? If someone bathes, usually Jaime is about, or thinks of him/her, or is thought of. Bathtubs are to Jaime Lannister what leeches are to Roose Bolton, and not only because of Harennhal, the mother of all the bathtub scenes: who else could talk Edmure Tully, who is _taking a bath_ in the while, into surrendering Riverrun?


End file.
